10.K. Searching for Best Practices

Yesterday was Dr. Ronitte Vilker's final day on the witness stand.

Once again, Attorney Cynthia Gifford tried to get the psychotherapist to discredit her patient, "Tracy," with a series of hypothetical questions and misleading assertions cherry-picked from an email Tracy had sent to their daughter "Jenny" twenty-nine months ago and from a 25-page letter Tracy had sent to "Barbara" nearly four years ago.

Attorney Keven McKenna objected repeatedly, but Judge Debra DiSegna overruled him.

Dr. Vilker insisted that Gifford's questions ignored the context for Tracy's remarks and the way in which a person with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) might normally respond to the pressure she was feeling.

Gifford tried to get Vilker to imply that Tracy could suffer from other psychiatric conditions than ASD and PTSD. Judge DiSegna pushed the HIPAA envelope by asking whether Vilker would refer her patient for further tests. Dr. Vilker's discomfort was visible.

She looked at Tracy, who nodded.

Dr. Vilker said she wanted to continue working with Tracy, who had voluntarily sought her help. She would recommend that Tracy also work with a doctor who specializes in helping patients with ASD to develop skills for examining their thoughts before expressing them in ways that may prove counterproductive.

DiSegna inquired: Could the Court order specify that Tracy must cooperate with her therapist?

Vilker responded emphatically: No! That would undermine the therapy.

Vilker said she would never return to the courtroom, and DiSegna assured her she was not subject to the Court in any way.

This important exchange underscores what I've seen over two decades of Family Court custody cases: a few psychologists are doing enormous harm to children and families by delivering Court-ordered "evaluations" as a business--similar to the testimony Attorney Gifford kept trying to extract from Dr. Vilker.

Attorney McKenna asserted that the Court is not qualified or authorized to be in the business of behavior-modification. He asked whether it is harmful for a child to be separated from a parent for two and a half years when there has been no evidence of abuse by that parent. The therapist agreed.

I have been listening to delightfully engaging interviews of David Finch, author of the new book, The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband.

http://davidfinchwriter.com/radio

David and his spouse, Kristen, describe the undeniable challenges in their relationship and how they are overcoming them together.

This raises yet another hypothetical question:

How much better off would Jenny and her parents be today if Barbara had known in advance what Dr. Vilker has learned? If only she had stayed far, far away from Gifford, Perkins, and the adversarial mindset of Family Court.

10.F. The Education of Dr. Vilker

Psychologist Ronitte Vilker came to court Friday to testify about her work with "Tracy." It is not something psychotherapists want to do, but the hearing was one of the most valuable I have seen in this courtroom.

Tracy sought out Dr. Vilker's help voluntarily. This therapist operates on a higher plane than the handful of psychologists whose patients endure (and pay for) sessions under the duress of a court order.

Vilker has been seeing Tracy since 2009. They focus on the trauma of the court proceedings that produce "ambiguous" loss and grief.

Can you define that? asks Judge Debra DiSegna.

When a child dies, Vilker explains, there is finality that allows the bereaved parent to grieve, get some closure, and gradually move on.

But Tracy has been cut off from normal communications with her daughter for years. She does not know where or how "Jenny" is or what the future holds for them. The court process never comes to a conclusion. There is no possibility of closure. This ambiguity means that healing cannot come.

Such loss is traumatic for Tracy--and certainly for Jenny as well, the doctor adds. From her work with children she asserts that Jenny will need therapy for what she is going through right now.

(Her explanation is relevant to every custody case where lawyers plunder the deepest pockets of family wealth by prolonging the process until a child ages out of the system at 18.)

What is Dr. Vilker's diagnosis of Tracy?

From her Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) she gives the code for Asperger Syndrome, noting that this name will not appear in the DSM's next edition, but probably something like High-Functioning Autism or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

Do many people have this disorder? asks Tracy's lawyer, Keven McKenna.

At M.I.T., says the doctor. ASD is common among engineers.

Only recently has our understanding evolved to recognize that these neurological wiring disorders occur on a spectrum. Higher functioning individuals can learn in childhood to compensate for symptoms, like their difficulty picking up social cues. Though Tracy was not diagnosed in childhood, her mother and uncle helped her in ways much like the therapy given to children with ASD today.

Tracy has been diligent in seeking therapy. At first she met weekly with Vilker, then twice a week and never missed a session. She has improved steadily, says the doctor. She has gained coping skills. Even in the courtroom, the doctor notes, she saw Tracy get up and stand against a wall, a technique she learned to calm herself.

I look at the stenographer . . . the sheriff . . . the judge listening intently. Vilker is describing behavior we've all seen in this courtroom.

Attorney Gifford asks which ASD characteristics do not apply to Tracy. Dr. Vilker reads through the codes: Tracy does not have any problems with language skills. She does not lack empathy. Indeed, she is well known for going above and beyond to help others, adults and especially children.

Gifford asks if Vilker has given Tracy any other diagnosis than ASD?

Yes.

What is it?

PTSD.

Did Tracy ever say that "Barbara" abused her?

Yes. But that was not the focus of the therapy.

Gifford pursues another line of questioning. Does Vilker know Dr. Karin Huffer, who writes about Legal Abuse Syndrome--how courts traumatize litigants and how the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) provides accommodations for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including that induced by abusive tactics in the courtroom? Vilker has heard Huffer's name, but not much else.

Then Gifford asks a question that makes my jaw drop.

(Unlike most other courts, many Family Court judges do not let people write in the courtroom. So I cannot record anything exactly.)

But Attorney Gifford asks something like: "Does Tracy take any responsibility for why she has no contact with her daughter?"

[TO BE CONTINUED]

10. C. Jenny's dream school

http://jmwschool.net/

I've been learning about the Jacqueline M. Walsh High School for the Performing and Visual Arts. A charter school founded in 2005, it became the first public high school in Rhode Island to accept applicants based on their audition or portfolio. Their culturally diverse student body pursues rigorous academics with individualized work in their chosen field: visual arts, dance, music, or theatre.

Based in the Pawtucket Armory, the JMW High School has a mission:

To provide an intensive, high-quality, conservatory-style high school education in and through the arts

and a vision:

To fully challenge and nurture high school students with exceptional talent in the arts who wish to pursue careers in the visual and performing arts.

JMW is the only school in Rhode Island with art programs approved as "Career and Technical Education (CTE) Programs of Study." What an ideal school this could be for "Jenny," already a performing musician when she graduated from eighth grade in 2010.

But her two parents disagreed.

One of them, "Barbara," had money for lawyers to bring an emergency ex parte motion and persuade a judge to award her temporary sole custody in 2008. Everything went downhill from there as Barbara’s lawyers tried to stop the girl from communicating with her other mother, “Tracy,” who had nurtured her talents since early childhood.

Tracy was forbidden to attend Jenny's track meets, performances, and eighth grade graduation. Barbara confiscated a basketful of cell phones from their daughter’s attempts to contact Tracy.

How would Jenny’s world be different if she were at the JMW High School, a total environment of students and professionals devoted to the arts, where she could establish long-term contacts and relationships?

Last Wednesday, Tracy tried to persuade the judge: It’s not too late for Jenny to audition for next year.

Barbara’s attorney, Cynthia Gifford, minimized the loss: After all, Jenny plays in the band at her local high school. And she won a coveted seat in the state symphony orchestra.

Which proves she is motivated to excel and is missing out on one of the finest opportunities this state offers gifted students like her.

It’s too expensive, Gifford counters, as if to say: Why bother? Why encourage this girl to try?

Tracy says it might cost $500 a month, but there are scholarships, and Barbara is paying far more on attorneys to limit Jenny’s options. Tracy says she would gladly move to Pawtucket to cut the cost.

Tracy is a very good parent. But that is not evident in this courtroom, which has grown morbidly sick with sarcasm hurled back and forth between Barbara’s attorney and Tracy.

Barbara’s other attorney, Cherrie Perkins, talks to me today during the break, thanks me for noting her correction last week.

She tells me she is not an evil person. She started out really good, working at the Women’s Resource Center.

I tell her I don’t think she’s evil. I know she’s smart. So why doesn’t she help Jenny go to the JMW High School?

Why not use her compassion and intelligence to protect children from this dismal adversarial system?

"Someone as smart as you doesn't need to be in this line of work, doing this to people."

“I have to make a living,” she says.

Bingo.

Attorney Gifford is mangling the language the way lawyers do. She constructs convoluted questions out of leading statements she wants to get into the record:

Is it not true that the record shows you hold a grudge against Barbara?

I can barely imagine how these verbal gymnastics fry the circuits for someone on the ASD spectrum, like Tracy, who is intensely precise and literal.

Finally Tracy exclaims: "What kind of question is that? I can’t answer yes and I can’t answer no!"